Who could have known a tidal wave could be so silly?

Weeeeeee ... poof
WEEEEEEE ... POOF!


The last few days have been like a marathon of awesome. I feel like maybe I should have been collecting samples from this weekend to keep in my freezer. You see, if I had taken enough samples I might have been able to mix them all together (later on, of course) in my blender with a little banana juice and had an awesome smoothie. Or, maybe I could have even collected all my samples inside a flakey crust (golden, buttery, and FRANK ly organic) and made myself a good ol' fashion awesome pie.

Speaking of pie, I would like to mention that I like pie. In fact, I like pie so much that I'll be stealing a little material now and tell everyone out there to get some pie: because pie is good. In fact! Here's my recipe for "awesome pie". Its probably perfect for all kinds of family events; like funerals, or a briss! It'll have the ladies all up ons, and its sure to the swaggle into the monocle of any dapper fellow who walks by - PERPOSTERIOUS!

"Awesome Pie" (also know as "baked texas ... hold em")

Ingrediants:

1 green apple
7 small red apples
1 tablespoon of firefly (to perserve flavor)
1 umpa-lumpa (whole)
1 tsp of sugar (tsp = ten square pounds)
FRANK ly Organic crust base (mix 2 parts flat bread, with one part hate crime: cook well)
1 entire red onion (to fend off blonde scavengers with a vegetable aversion)
2-3 cans of Mountain Dew (depending on how thirsty you get)

To prepare:

1. Begin to boil water in a larger POTTER (what a bother)
2. Mince apples into smaller apples. With any luck, you should now have several hundred small apples.
3. Clean your Umpa-Lumpa and begin to stuff with sugar. 10 pounds should do it; but often times you may need a touch more. If an umpa-lumpa cannot be found, find a miniature clown of similar proportions. However, this sub is not advised, as they make your pie taste funny.
4. Acknowledge you're about to commit the act of cannibalism and settle yourself before God.
5. Throw away your stuffed Umpa-Lumpa. In fact; if you even took the time to do steps 3&4, you're a sick fuck and really should be behind some bars.
6. Once your POTTER is boiling, throw in all the apples and slowly stir in 1 tbs of fireflies. Beware not to use too much: they may make you drowsy in large doses.
7. Allow mixture to cook for 10 minutes; let stand for additional 20. While waiting, enjoy 1 can of Mt. Dew.
8. Strain the mixture in your POTTER, and spoon the remaining solid in your pre-prepared pie crust.
9. Cook pie with psionic powers for 1-4 rounds (depending on level). This step may need to be repeated
10. Cover cooked pie with fresh whipped cream, or awesome sauce as you see fit.
11. Enjoy 1-2 cans of Mt. Dew. with your finished pie.
12.
13. Profit.


-The Mick